hmmm. today is Good Friday
which means, last year, tomorrow,
was my rebirth, my Baptism.
it was the day i became known as "Jean Francine"


this Lent, i've been reflecting upon myself.
what has become of me after a whole year.
am i fufilling my mission at all.
365 days, sooo many changes, sooo many things have happened.
of coz, its always full of ups and downs.
i've met new ppl, lost old frens.
gained weight, loss weight, then gained all over again.
was touched and lost.
studied and worked.
soo many things.
and hey. i must thank God.
the thing is. i pray hard only when i need to.
and i feel quite guilty abt it.
coz God gives me what i pray for. and for me, i dun think i give enough back.
all i do is attend mass, confess, and pray for my results, my family, and things tt i want.
of coz, occassionally i pray for others.
but still, i feel this thing tt i dun do enuff.
yes, the charity work, is it enuff? i haven done as much as the other volunteers.
i have NO ministry. and i feel LOST.
jus like last night. i realli wanted to journey wif the Lord by going to the other churches and staying vigil.
but becoz i did not have a grp tt did that.
i didnt
so i'm truly disappointed with myself.


today is Fasting day. seriously, its the day i feel the most troubled.
becoz, everytime i fast. i cant help but "announce" to the world.
and i noe its not right.
and everytime,ash wednesday good friday, the passages would hit me.

haiyo. i need to be humble.
that is the bottom line.
Let me wash your feet.